A little bit of background before we get into the weeds of things.
Once while job hunting and subsequently transitioning into a new job, I came across an article essentially encouraging new hires to create some sort of documentation that they can present to their new manager about how to best work with them (and how they work best). Everything from strengths to weaknesses, leaning style, goals, and feedback preference could be included. A good idea, no doubt.
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But it got me thinking that a similar idea can be applied to one’s life as a whole.
Time and time again, I would revisit the idea of putting pen to paper (so to speak) and creating some sort of documentation that applies to me and my life. As most things, it was put on the back burner in order to make time for more “important” things.
The “important” things weren’t in fact all that important and during a particularly low period, I wished I had taken some time to jot down the general idea of how to take care of myself.
When it’s good, it’s good — when it’s bad, it seems impossible.
During a particular slump, that thought passed through my mind constantly. So much so that I swore that once I was out of the slump and could point to what had helped me, I would write it down properly.
(Thankfully) I followed through with this. And I believe this to be one of the best things I have done for myself that I’m still reaping the benefits from.
Here’s some tips and considerations that I follow as I developed my documentation and continue to refine it.
From this point forward I will refer to said documentation as the ‘document’ for ease of reference.
Store the document in an easy to access location but not somewhere that you see/access it everyday.
The idea here is that once you do your initial documentation you should set it and forget it. And then once you need it, it’s there. Think of it as a combination of “A Dummy’s Guide to Me” and a time capsule.
Update and refine appropriately
There is something to be said about being very intentional about the updates made to the documentation. Mainly, making sure that things that are being added in are true and not just of a whim. I personally can say there are times I want to add to the documentation (and even have) and come to find that the particular addition isn’t something that is always true or is something that doesn’t bring consistent results.
The more detail the better
Remember this document is a guide for when you’re not yourself. When you aren’t really thinking like you usually do. A version of yourself that might be more short sighted or stuck in such a slump they may not know what a vague bullet point means.
For me, I am so detailed that in some cases it almost looks like a step by step guide. In other cases, detailed means that I explain why a certain bullet point works and essentially why it’s on the list.
Sometimes explaining the rationale really helps the version of you in a slump understand the overall intention.
Identify all different types of scenarios where the document can be used
For me, I have about seven specific scenarios. The scenarios are largely focused on mental states such as when I’m feeling anxious or melancholy. Or when I am spacing out and day dreaming a lot. Or when I am unmotivated or uninspired.
But there are also a few that focus on the physical such as when I have headaches or when I have really bad backaches.
The document is about taking care of you and therefore it should be holistic.
Write it like you are talking to a friend
Of course, it is for your eyes only if that is what you so choose. Therefore if you write it like you are talking to a friend then technically you are considering yourself your friend. Believe me, when you are in a slump that idea is one of the strongest mindsets you can have.
Be honest with yourself and call yourself out
It would be super easy if the document was just a giant “ra-ra you got it!” list, but it’s not. It can be, but it really shouldn’t be.
Sometimes the best self-care is actually being self-aware. Identify your short comings, the way you think, and the way you react in order to be able to call yourself out. Of course, this means you have to be very vulnerable but it’s all worth it.
I have a tendency to be a perfectionist and so I included in my document a specific call out that likely says:
“Things don’t have to be perfect — it’s often better to be done than perfect…let’s build the momentum to get you to where you want to be.”
I also have called myself out about how I approach new things and defend myself against the unknown by saying:
“It can seem silly in the beginning, when you are first starting off but give it time and give it all your effort before casting it off as a failure. You are notorious for half ass-ing things and then looking back and wishing you did things differently.”
Tailor your documentation to your style
Mine is stored on Notion. But yours might be stored on Notes or on Pinterest if you need something more visual. Another thing I am starting to do is curate Spotify playlists and Youtube playlists to address certain moods or scenarios.
No need to be perfect
Full stop.
Typos, incorrect grammar, spelling errors — who cares. Use abbreviation or slang, funky font sizing or capitalization. So long as you can read it and understand it, it doesn’t really matter. Just get that information written down.
This is a living document
As mentioned before about being very intention about how you make updates also understand that since this is a living document, it’s appearance, usage, and contents will change simply because you are changing.
Do not be afraid of this changing nature of the document so long as it’s true to you.
There is likely a similar therapy exercise as the document. In fact, I am sure there is since nothing is really original. I do not take credit for the creation of this exercise. I am simply someone who has found great benefit of this exercise and think it’s beneficial to share insight and testimony regarding it.
If you happen to adopt this exercise or if you were already doing this exercise before reading this, please let me know — I would love to hear how others have used it as well. If you made this far, thank you for reading!